He is leaving. And I don’t want him to stay too. But.
Yesterday I received an extremely ecstatic call from Moses. For all you people who do not know what this creature called Moses means to me – he is the yin to my yang, the sanity to my insanity and the incoherence to my stability. He is my buoy, my parachute, my constant. He is whom my soul turns to when it knows not what the matter is. For me, he is the epitome of friendship, love, care, affection, craziness, fun, trust, integrity and more. He is the reason I have survived through days when giving up seemed easier than going on. He is the one I return to when I feel homesick, when I need to feel at home again. It is all so easy with him, so simple, so serene. He sees me.
He has never tried to change me or chain me. He is the only one who celebrates my madness and my freedom equal to me; or maybe even more than me.
And yesterday, he told me that he finally has received his passport.
He has been at it for over five years. With a lot of issues with documentation, luck, fate, destiny, people and their mistakes, and some more documentation shit, he finally got his passport.
Though I am happy for him, because this means that he’ll soon leave for Dubai and he’ll have a fawesome job and he’ll be minting money and making himself a good life… I am sad because it means he’ll soon leave for Dubai to never come back and I will have to see him go. I am sad because for the first time in my life since I know him – I will be here and he will be there.
Yes, I will cry when I go to see him off at the airport. And yes, I will see him again when I go to Dubai or when he comes down – but he will no more be here, in Mira road, right around the corner like he has always been – my asylum.
With this year’s turn of events, it seems like my already short friends list is being cut down marginally. I hadn’t thought I could afford losing anymore. Not this year, at least. Not so soon. Especially, not my Musa.
But, he will go. And I will let him, smiling through the tears, dreading and dancing at the same time.
I do not know if I will be able to face the day. I do not know if I can even chance losing him. But something I know and I have learnt over the past decade of being with him is that we’ll make this work. Like he said last night – we have been through thick & thin, through arguments, fights, deaths and more, and the distance between Mumbai & Dubai shall not come between us.
He is probably going to be rolling his eyes by now… Chal nikal!
I love you Moses. You are the one guy I can trust with these words. The one guy who has the power to hurt me, to turn me into ashes and finish me – but hasn’t. The one guy I know will be there, with me, for me, throughout my life, as I will be for you.
Thank you, for being you. For being the most wonderful friend, for seeing me through my demented twenties and helping me get my deranged life back on track. Thank you for allowing me the privilege of being your back up plan and thank you for being mine. But wait! I will still expect a grand proposal and you down on your knees if we both are still single at 60! Or did I agree to 50 in the induced stage in Goa?!?!?!
Know this, that you are irreplaceable. And that you will be missed, sorely.